How to handle a capricious woman

(Definition of capricious: governed by caprice, being impulsive or unpredictable)

I've been having a lot of fun interviewing men for my blog. One question is "What is something you both like and dislike about women?"

My friend David really nailed it. He said that it's hard to deal with women's randomness: They come towards you and disappear, you never know. They are wily and capricious. When I probed further, he confessed that though this capricious quality drives him crazy, it fuels his desire. A women who is not entirely available can be more alluring than one who is reliable and consistent. I find this paradox very interesting.

So men, I'm curious... do you find us female creatures capricious, and if you do, how do you handle us? Is the way you're handling us working for you?    

These days women are coming into their sexual power and maturity, and they no longer need you to protect them, bear them children, or in any way navigate the world for them. Many of them are free and tuned into their desire, which like female orgasm, ebbs and flows. What does this look like? 

Well -- sometimes they are totally hot for you, can't wait to tear your clothes off and take their pleasure in you. Then next moment, their energy shifts and they just want to cuddle, or worse, leave you in the heat of your desire, and go shopping. Maybe a woman makes a plan with you, then at the last minute, cancels. Or she picks a fight with you, proves her point, then berates you for agreeing with her. I'm sure you've got many other better examples.

So, how do you handle a woman like this - who changes her mind, and doesn't appear to be rational, is just plain crazy? Perhaps the answer is found more in this question, "How do you handle YOURSELF?"

You probably already know this and..... you can't change a woman (or anyone for that matter). The good news is that you can change yourself, and then feel a whole lot better - even when things go haywire. It takes courage and willingness to know yourself, and, awful as it may sound, a bit of humility. And I know you're up to it.  

Here's a simple practice you can try out for yourself:

The next time you find yourself at the mercy of a capricious woman, PAUSE,

1. Notice if you're feeling an ouch - this can be a sense of outrage, anger, disappointment, a sensation of being hit in your stomach.
2. Identify specifically what it is you're feeling as a sensation in your body.
3. Now, stay with that sensation. Notice the tendency to try to rationalize yourself out of it, and don't go there. (It's a road that leads to nowhere). 
4. Say "yes" to that sensation over and over and over, until you start to notice a change. You may feel a bit lighter, more detached, a little less annoyed, perhaps even a hint of.... happiness!?
5. From this new place of awareness, how do you perceive the situation now - and the woman who 'caused' it?