I just want to f*ck my wife

It was the middle of our sixth coaching session when he blurted it out: "I'm tired of being patient, slowing things down, making our sex all about her. I just want to f*ck my wife!" The room vibrated with his anger, and I could see a flash of fear in his partner's eyes. Then she sighed and said "I'm so relieved to hear you say it - I've been feeling this for months." The space that opened up in the room was palpable. Now this couple was ready to do the transformative work of coaching, and heal their relationship.

Men, are you sick and tired of trying so hard to be a masterful lover? Truth be told, wouldn't you like to just skip all that foreplay and just get down to it?

In one session my client penetrated to the bottom of his desire. He allowed himself to fully feel the depth of his passion, and a deep frustration that wasn't even about his relationship with his wife. He was surprised to discover that what he longed for was to be fully seen as a man in the eyes of his wife and connect to her from that potent place. He then realized that she couldn't see him because he was was hiding. Showing his desire felt vulnerable, much more vulnerable than this angry persona. 

So he made a decision to surrender to his desire. When he did that, his anger and frustration melted away. What opened to him was a depth of connection that he'd always longed for - and their sex became hot, juicy, and incredibly satisfying.