Why won't she open up to me?

Men often complain to me that women are so hard to read. Whether it's a colleague at work, a girlfriend, or a daughter, why won't they tell you what's going on? Women tell everything to their girl friends, so why won't they open up to you? Well guys, one reason is that women don't feel safe with you. Yes, that's right. 

A little physiology here: Women's vigilant centers are much more developed than men's. That part of them that scans the environment to make sure it's safe to speak, let alone drop their guard and relax, is often on hyper alert. Men, you may be out in the world hunting for food or negotiating a deal. Women, on the other hand, are constantly reading external cues to determine if it's okay to come out. For instance, at work, they may be waiting for the 'right' moment to express their opinion, often with lazer-like precision. Translate this into sex: Men can get an erection in the heat of battle; women need to feel completely held, supported and relaxed before they can surrender into the state of orgasm. 

Men - make no mistake, women can feel you. If you are feeling the least bit insecure, guarded or defensive, they will put up their walls and cast you out into the cold! So you ask, "How can I penetrate this fortress?" Ironically, you don't need to back off, or be a nice guy, or try to read their minds (which as you know is an impossible task). You just have to be yourself. Be honest, be genuine, be vulnerable - and watch them open up to you.